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Favorite ThisDear Bear Grillz: Marmots, collaborations, and hallucinations

Published: December 16, 2013
Dear Bear GrillzAs promised, here is the first installment of our new, weekly series Dear Bear Grillz. For the uninitiated, Bear Grillz is a 28-year-old bear from the depths of Yosemite. We ripped blunts with the young producer, and decided to give our fans a chance to interact with a furry producer who may or may not eat them.

I found some Marmots in my yard, eating my turnips. They keep coming back and i can never catch them. I do not have the hunting skills of a bear, so what would be the best way to get rid of them for good otherwise?
I would suggest leaving your front door open and something tasty in the refrigerator. Marmots love anything that smells like rotten eggs (an old hotdog/an actual dead dog should do). Then, hide behind the fridge - when he goes in for the food, BAM! smash the little prick's head in the door. Hope this helps.
Are you working on any collaborations?
The last time I tried to do a collaboration put me off to be honest. I went over to Datsik's house and he had all these paper lanterns outside his garage arranged into the shape of a pentagram. There were men in suits chanting and crying and they kept muttering something about Dillon Francis and a 'cat deity'. It was all a bit weird so I left. Hope this answers your question.
My cat hasn't been the same lately, any suggestions as to of why she has not been herself the last while?
Is her name Amy Wheelbarrow? If it is then I have a pretty good idea what happened. Last week I was minding my own business, licking the wrappers outside In-N-Out burger when I saw Robin Williams kicking a basket down the street. It all seemed pretty innocent until he started laughing manically spouting things like 'No! I will not dress up like a woman again!'. Sorry I think I forgot what the question was.
Dear BEAR GRILLZ, what is that ducks name that is always bopping his head?
I was playing in the woods as usual and ate some red berries.... now everything is a rainbow... what should I do ??
Quickly try and find some white berries. You know how when you pour white wine onto red wine and it cancels out a stain on your neighbour's cabin floor? Same shit. Otherwise you are in for quite a strange month. Good luck.

Get your questions in to Bear Grillz by 6pm PST on Sundays at Don't tell him where you live. Please.


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